If you have had to deal with a recent, emotionally challenging breakup then you likely still are experiencing a wide range of emotions. Most of these, probably, are what you otherwise would consider to be negative emotions.
There are challenges to your identity, possible changes to your social circle, financial impact (credit, etc.), and you even may have to relocate towns or states. This doesn’t even include the emotional impact of family members, kids and any business interests or jobs which the two of you shared.
Needless to say, a breakup can devastate someone on multiple levels: emotional, financial, reputation, career, etc. No wonder that so many people try to get back with their “ex”…. in theory, it would solve a lot of problems stemming from damage outside of the interpersonal dynamic that the two people had.
The problem is that many people can take a huge hit emotionally and they may need to get away for a while. For example, some people need to move and relocate. If they can’t find a cheap apartment then they may live with family or friends, a low-cost RV park, at an extended stay cheap motel, or any number of sub-optimal living arrangements. By spending too much time in such environments, the “downward spiral” can begin – or accelerate – toward other problems such as being victim of crime, drugs, alcohol or other less-than-ideal situations.
If you are in a tough emotional situation due to a break up, somehow find a way to reach a sense of detachment for a little bit. Take some time to look at yourself and what you may have done in order to reach this current state. You will want objective feedback from trusted friends, counselors, or others you trust in order to find a way to “upgrade” yourself. Even if the ex is considered by most people to be fairly vicious, you still let that other person into your life so find a way to make the upgrades needed. Most of the time, the journey toward a better relationship – even if it is with your ex – requires you to face some ugly self-truths and fix them. Hopefully you find the motivation, ability and right environment in which to make those changes.
More on this topic in future posts.